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Thursday, September 21, 2023

'I told my sister exactly why her marriage crashed and burned – but was I too rude?’

News'I told my sister exactly why her marriage crashed and burned - but was I too rude?’

A man has sparked a fiery debate after taking to the internet to ask if he was wrong for telling his divorced sister “exactly why her marriage crashed and burned”.  

Posting on the Reddit forum ‘AmItheA******’ , in which people ask if they are morally right or wrong in a given situation, the man was reacting to his sister’s reasoning for divorcing her husband.  

He shared that his sister has been staying with him and his husband as she is currently going through a divorce, but he is “floored” at the reason her marriage failed. 

The man wrote: “I opened our home to her before I found out why her marriage didn’t work out. Now that the two of us have had multiple conversations about it, I’m a little uncomfortable.” 

The man revealed that his sister’s marriage had “no infidelity” and there was also “no big scandal” for the breakup.

READ MORE: ‘I took my neighbour’s cat to an animal shelter while they were away

However, he was shocked to discover that his sister is divorcing her husband because they “weren’t having sex enough”. 

He wrote: “The things she has been saying have floored me. She says without sex, the two of them were basically just like roommates.”

The man added that his sister had asked her husband to get a hormone imbalance test done as she believed they weren’t being intimate enough, but said her now ex-husband believed “all she thought about was sex”. 

The man said that after talking to his sister, he felt “sad” for her soon-to-be ex-husband and felt she was disrespectful for “saying sex is the only thing that separates a partner from a roommate. Not even a friend”.

The man wrote that he is doing his “best to be supportive” but does not understand his sister at all, as he would never react like that if his husband did not want to be intimate. 

He said he would simply “respect” his husband’s wishes and added it would never be the reason for breaking up as “I love him and I want him to be the person I do life with forever”.

However, the man has said things “came to a head” last night with his sister, after he got angry at a joke she made.

He wrote: “My husband and I were having a typical lazy Saturday night, catching up on some shows and chatting while we lounge on the couch. 

“His legs were in my lap and I was kind of absentmindedly massaging his feet and rubbing his ankles. This was an innocent gesture.”

The man said his sister came in, and began making jokes, such as “I didn’t know you were into feet” and “I didn’t know you had a foot fetish”.

The man became annoyed and wrote:  “I couldn’t help but feel put off at her sexualizing the gesture. Intimacy CAN be sexual, but it doesn’t have to be.”

He said that he ended up arguing with his sister and speaking about her divorce, and told his sister:  “You sexualizing every interaction is why you’re in the situation you are now.” 

The man has said his sister left the room upset, and said: “I already know it was a little harsh, but I’m unsure if it was tough love or too much.”

The post has become very popular on the forum, as most commentators are very divided about whether the man was in the wrong or not. 

One comment believed the man was right, and argued: “I hate people who constantly make everything sexual. If your sister was continuously making comments like that then I would snap too.”

Another user argued that the man was wrong, and said: “[Your sister] made a slight joke, maybe one you found offensive. From my perspective, this is a light tease. Then you proceeded to go nuclear and used something your sister told you in a moment of vulnerability just to hurt her.”

However, one popular comment on the forum said both siblings were in the wrong.

The person wrote: “It’s weird that your sister made a comment that sexualized her brother. That’s strange.

“However, why did you have to bring her failed marriage into it? She confided in you, you didn’t agree, and you threw it in her face. There are so many ways you could have expressed your concerns about her reasons for her divorce without attacking her.”

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